How to Change

INTRODUCTION (Series Slide) Good morning. My name is David Sorn, and I’m the Lead Pastor here at Renovation Church. I think one of the deep questions we all wrestle with is: “How do I change?” Despite what some may tell you, every person on earth has things they want to change about themselves. Maybe you’re too hard on yourself Or you always run from conflict. Or you can’t keep your commitments, or let go of jealousy You’ve got addictions, relationship issues. We all have something (or a hundred things) we would like to change. But knowing HOW to change them isn’t always intuitive. This morning, we’re going to come to part in the Bible where the Apostle Paul gives Christians a ton of specific instructions on how they should stop doing stop doing a, b, c, d, and e…and start doing t, u v, w, x, y, and z. But lots of times, we just jump right into those verses and say: In your anger, don’t sin! Don’t use bad language. Don’t steal, etc. But if we don’t look closely at the context (specifically the words before these instructions), we won’t ever understand how to change… And if we don’t how to change, it’s easy to become disillusioned with your Christian faith… …if you don’t ever actually experience any real change. And so we need this teaching today from Ephesians 4 today if we’re going to see God actually change our lives. THE WAY YOU USED TO LIVE Okay, let’s jump into this. Everybody grab a Bible. Ephesians 4:17 32 Page 800 We are continuing in our “Walk Worthy” series on the 2nd half of Ephesians… …where the Apostle Paul, the author, is showing us how we can WALK WORTHY in light of the remarkable things Christ has done for us. (Ephesians 4:17 19) – NIV 17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. (TITLE SLIDE) These first 3 verses here are the psychology of what our minds are like apart from Christ. We talked about this a lot actually in our Gender & Sexuality series. Without God, we are stuck in our sinful nature. That means we’re darkened in our understanding (v. 18) It means are hearts have been hardened towards what is holy & good (the end of 18) So someone can you tell what is right, but it probably won’t even sound right to your heart. And then 19 says, that over time, because you don’t have any sensitivity to rightness and goodness, you’re essentially just living for yourself. Which often looks like sensuality, and impurity, and greed. And as a result of that, we hear people say all the time in our culture,: “It’s what I feel, so it’s right.” “I need to follow my heart” But that kind of thinking does not, and cannot lead to change. It will keep you into stagnation…and often even deeper into darkness. PUT OFF THE OLD SELF But this is not how we are to live any more as followers of Jesus Christ. Let’s keep reading Ephesians 4:20 24 Page 800 (Ephesians 4:20 24) – NIV 20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. So Paul is reminding the Ephesian Christians that they were taught to live differently than everyone else. They were taught that we can change. And Biblical change is really a 3 step process. Let’s break down that process. HOW TO CHANGE: #1: Put off your old self The “old self” is who we used to be before Christ. But it’s ALSO who we still can be when we suppress Christ in our lives. The Old Self is all of our attitudes, emotions, and actions when we’re not letting Jesus rule. And truthfully, many of us live for Jesus in one area, but we have other compartments where our Old Self is still on the throne. And notice that here in step 1, the action step is for us, not God. We are to “put off the old self” And so if your friendship group, or even your job, is leading you away from Christ. Put it off. If your streaming subscription has you lost in lust or slothfulness, cancel it. If you can’t stop dreaming about buying a bigger house, so much so that it has become an idol, confess it to a friend, and have them block Zillow.com on your devices What is it that you need to “put off” in your life if you’re actually going to start this process of change? …Because Paul says at the end of 22 that our old self is being corrupted by its deceitful desires. These old parts of your life, if you let them hang around, they will claw their way back into your heart. It’s like that John Owen quote we seem to share about once a year: “Always be killing sin, or it will be killing you.” – John Owen. And so step 1 is very important, but it isn’t all there is to change. But unfortunately, many Christian movements have gotten this wrong over the centuries. In fact, before evangelicalism became a thing in the 1950’s, the main movement in Bible believing churches in the early 20th to mid 20th century, was fundamentalism. Fundamentalism was don’t dance, don’t smoke, don’t play with face cards, don’t go to the movies, in fact…don’t do anything! It was an obsession with putting off the old self in the name of holiness and change. Now, in hindsight, we call this legalism. People actually ended up imitating the life of the Pharisees, not of Christ. And it doesn’t actually lead to change. (TITLE SLIDE) For example: years ago I read an article about an actor named H.B. Warner who, in 1927, played Jesus is the famous silent film “King of Kings.” The director of that movie was so concerned that any poor behavior by the actor playing Jesus would result in negative publicity for the film. And so they enforced strict regulations to make sure Warner kept up a good “Jesus image” during filming and while the movie was out. And so he was driven to work with shades on the windows, and then separated from all other cast members. He never could play cards, go to ballgames, go swimming, and just to be safe, he even had to always eat alone. But all of these intense rules and regulations didn’t make Warner more like Christ… In fact, the intense pressure… without the experience of forgiveness… Without inward transformation… …or a personal relationship with God. All of that pressure actually drove the actor over the edge, and he severely relapsed into his addiction to alcohol. Because step one (putting off the old self) is important, but if that’s all you do… …you won’t see change. And you might even make things worse. BE MADE NEW IN THE ATTITUDE OF YOUR MINDS So what does Paul say you are to do next if you want to see change? V. 23: He says you are “to be made new in the attitude of your mind” This is step #2 HOW TO CHANGE: #1: Put off your old self #2: Be made new in the attitude of your mind Let’s look closely at this phrase in verse 23. This is what we do here at Renovation Church. We don’t just randomly pull out inspirational verses, we study the Bible as we teach. Paul says you are to be MADE NEW in the attitude of your mind. And so this is different from step #1 because Here, you’re not making the attitude of your mind new…God is! He’s renovating your mind from the inside out. And the only thing you need to do…is to daily lay yourself down on the operating table, and let Him go to work on your mind! And this works: In fact, the Christians of history that we all so deeply admire have one very obvious thing in common: They all spent significant amount of time with the Lord…letting Him renovate and renew their minds. And so if you want to see change in that certain area in your life that you’re thinking about this morning… That means to do Step #2…you’ve got to get in His Word…every day. If you don’t know where to start in the Bible, start with one of our Bible reading plans on our app or at the Welcome Table, or check out plans on the YouVersion Bible App Letting Him renew your mind means prioritizing coming to church and house groups, and spending time outside of church with Christian friends It means, listening to Christian music Carving out time to pray, every day. You can’t change unless you’re laying yourself down on His operating table. Last year I read a book by Hawaiian pastor Wayne Cordeiro, and he told a story of when he was a youth pastor. He took students on a camping trip and their water source for drinking and cooking was a mountain stream. But one day a Forest Ranger came running into camp and said, “Stop! Don’t drink the water anymore!” He had discovered a dead deer upstream near the source of the water, and as the dear was decomposing, it was contaminating everything else downstream. And similarly, our old ways of life will contaminate our thinking, and thus our actions, if we don’t let God get down and clean up the source…our minds. So let’s walking through this: Let’s say you’re dealing with bitterness and unforgiveness. Someone wronged you and it’s really hard to get over. And so you start with Step #1: Put off the old self. And now, when you start thinking, “I can’t believe they did that. I despise them. They just drive me crazy. They are so….” Now, you catch yourself, and you say, “no, in my new identity as a Christian, I can no longer think like that. God help me stop.” And you take those thoughts, and you put them off. But you don’t stop at just Step #1, otherwise those thoughts will eventually just come back. So this is where step #2 comes in. You need to open yourself up to God’s renovating brain surgery And instead of letting that video of them wronging you play for the 115th time in your mind… What you’re doing now in step 2, is you’re meditating on God’s truth concerning forgiveness. And you’re reading…and thinking about His forgiveness of you… That despite all the times you wrong Him, He constantly forgives you, every time. He even sent His own Son to die for your continued sins And as you let God’s truth start to penetrate and marinate and soak into your mind…your mind begins to change. And you begin to see the freedom in forgiveness. And over time, as you receive it from God, you begin to want to extend forgiveness to others as well. Because God…in his renovating surgery…is starting to remove some of that hate and bitterness out of your mind. This is why step #2 is so important to the process of real change. PUT ON THE NEW SELF And then Paul gives us Step #3 This is verse 24: And to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. HOW TO CHANGE: #1: Put off your old self #2: Be made new in the attitude of your mind #3: Put on the new self This means that we need to not just put off the old ways, but start walking in new ways. You can actually see how this works when Paul starts listing out real life examples. So let’s keep reading. Ephesians 4:25 32 Page 800 (Ephesians 4:25 32) – NIV 25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. 28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. I want you to notice how the putting off and putting on works in tandem in the very verses we just read. PUT OFF, PUT ON CHART Falsehood | Truthful speech Stealing | Generosity Unwholesome talk | Words that build up Bitterness, rage, etc. | Compassion & forgiveness So notice that in each case, the follower of Christ isn’t just putting off, they then fill that empty gap by putting something new on. So we don’t just put off falsehood, we then put on Truthful speech. We don’t just stop swearing, we start using our words to now build people up, etc. Timothy Keller explains it this way: He says: “When is a thief not a thief? Many people would say, “When he stops stealing.” But the wisdom of what Paul is saying in Ephesians is more realistic to our human nature. Keller says, “A thief who stops stealing is just a thief in between jobs.” Change, if it’s going to be real change, has to be deeper than just the avoidance of sin. HOW TO CHANGE: #1: Put off your old self #2: Be made new in the attitude of your mind #3: Put on the new self In order for change to truly come, we need to work all 3 steps of the process. So, for example, if you are stealing (say your parents streaming password, ha), you start with putting it off. Stopping. Confessing. You move to step 2, and you’re intentional about letting Jesus change your thinking and soften your heart every day. And then, in step 3, you put on the new action…you get your own account, and instead of stealing, put on generosity… you maybe offer to pay for your parents account for a year. And the 3rd step is very important. Pastor Martyn Lloyd Jones explains it this way: (DeadLeavesWinter) You know how some trees keep their brown dead leaves on them even through winter? What causes trees like this to eventually lose their leaves? It’s not by people going around plucking them off; No, the leaves are removed by new life. The shoot of the new leaf comes out and literally pushes off the dead leaf in order to make room for itself. So, in your own life then, what has the power to start to destroy, say, the dead leaf of bitterness for example? The new life that comes from forgiveness. One of the best ways to remove the dead leaf of anxiety about a situation, is to say your faith out loud to God. You don’t just say to yourself, “Stop being anxious about that job interview” You push off that dead leaf out by saying, “My God, your word tells me not to worry about tomorrow, and I trust you. I trust you!” And as you work through the 3 steps together, your desires will start to change. Jon Bloom explains it this way: "Sin is not fundamentally defeated through the power of self denial, but through the power of a greater desire." Jon Bloom Because the result, over time, of working these 3 steps from Scripture is not behavioral modification, it’s heart transformation. And as your heart begins to be changed by Jesus… And as you begin to experience the beautiful fruit of being with Him and the blessing of walking in his ways… What happens is your greater desire becomes Jesus…not your old ways. And when your desire for Him becomes greater than your old ways…then…and really only then…will you truly start to change. COMMUNION (Title Slide) And you know part of what gives us the power to change is our new identity in Him. I was thinking about that this week as we’re going to take communion together here in a second. Because when you realize that Jesus gave up his body on the cross for yours…and that his blood was spilled for yours. And you become a believer in Him… It gives you not only forgiveness, but a new identity. If it were 500 years ago, and let’s say a thieving teenager was taken of the village streets, and adopted by the King into the castle. The young thief would, over time, be able to stop stealing, in part, because of his new identity. He’s put off the old rags he wore when he was a thief, and now he has put on the robes of royalty. He doesn’t need to steal anymore to impress, or survive, or find acceptance. He has all he needs from his father, the King. And so as we take communion, I want you to know that truth deeply to. You can walk in these new ways (you can change)…because you have all you need in your Father, the King. You can walk worthy…in the ways of royalty.