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Modesty

David Sorn

Mar 16, 2025

1 Timothy 2:1-10

Modesty is a controversial and confusing topic in the church today, so having a balanced and Biblical view is so important!

MESSAGE TRANSCRIPT

  1. INTRODUCTION
    1. (Series Slide)
    2. Good morning! My name is David Sorn, and I’m the Lead Pastor here at Renovation Church
      1. As a church, we are working our way, verse-by-verse through the Letter of 1 Timothy in the Bible, which is one of the hardest books in the Bible to teach through
        1. And we are in the midst of one of its toughest sections.
          1. Last time, we covered Church Discipline, next week is perhaps the toughest topic in the whole book, and this week we’ve come to a section on modesty, which is not the most popular subject in our culture today (welcome to church!)
    3. 1 Timothy 2:1-10
    4. Page 811
      1. There are actually a couple of topics within our 10 verses today, but I’ve chosen to focus on “modesty of dress” today precisely because it is so controversial and there is so much confusion on this topic
        1. And so I think it’s critical to have good, balanced, Biblical teaching on this subject.
          1. So, here we go!
    5. (1 Timothy 2:1-10) – NIV
    6. I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— 2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.
      1. We recently did a message on politics, but let me just add here that Paul tells Christians to pray for their government leaders.
        1. And keep in mind, Paul was not in a democracy. They didn’t vote for any of these leaders.
          1. Yet, as Christians, we are to pray for whoever is in office.
    7. Okay, verse 3
    8. 3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. 5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all people. This has now been witnessed to at the proper time. 7 And for this purpose I was appointed a herald and an apostle—I am telling the truth, I am not lying—and a true and faithful teacher of the Gentiles.
      8 Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing. 9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
    9. (Modesty)
      1. Okay, so in verse 8, Paul wants the men to be spiritual men.
        1. To pray. To lift their hands (holy hands!), and to be Christian men who let go of anger & arguments.
          1. And we’re going to talk a lot about men…and leadership over the next two weeks.
    10. But today, we’re going to look at these two verses on modesty.
      1. And although Paul addresses the women, I don’t want any men to excuse themselves from this topic.
        1. Because honestly, this is for you too.
          1. In part because of the fitness craze of the last few decades, and how many men (especially young men) feel pressured to lift…
            1. …many men’s bodies have become objects as well.
    11. I think before we dive deeper into the Scriptures, the first thing we need to acknowledge is part of the reason that modesty is such a difficult topic to talk about is…
      1. …. that the pendulum on “how we should dress” has swung all over the place on this topic the last 60 years
        1. (left) If you go back to the mid-20th century, most every American dressed fairly modestly.
      2. But after the sexual revolution of the late 1960’s things started to really change and loosen up.
        1. Thus pastors, and especially youth pastors, in the 80’s and 90’s felt compelled to address, particularly young women, regarding modesty because things had changed so drastically.
          1. And if you grew up in Youth Group in those years, you probably a heard a message or two, or ten, on this topic.
            1. And maybe it was good, and well done.
            2. But for many, it wasn’t.
              1. Perhaps it was very legalistic…just all rules.
              2. Or maybe, as a young woman, the only reason you ever heard for modesty was that you had to project the eyes of young men from lusting at your body.
                1. And some young women were left to feel that they were bad (or even shameful) just for having a female body.
                  1. And that’s not right.
                  2. Our bodies are made in the image of God, and God saw what He made and said it was “good”
    12. But now, 25 years into the 21st Century, we haven’t landed in the middle, but the pendulum has swung back over to the other side.
  2. So now we live in an era, where even in the church, both women and men, often feel that they don’t need to dress with any sort of modesty…
    1. …because they would say that their bodies are good, and if someone is going to lust at them, that’s between that person and God, and not their problem.
  3. And on top of all of this… because of all the controversy around modesty (and this might surprise the Millennials in the room), but a lot of young people in Gen Z, have never heard a message on Modesty.
    1. And thus this ends up being a fairly foreign concept to them.
      1. So, we’ve got to shut out all the noise, be brave, and look harder at God actually has to say to us on this.
  4. #1: CHRISTIANS REDEFINE BEAUTY.
    1. So let’s look again at verses 9-10
    2. 1 Timothy 2:9-10
    3. Page 811
  5. (1 Timothy 2:9-10) – NIV
  6. 9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
  7. (Modesty)
    1. Paul says that Christians, and again, I think this is men & women, should firstly, dress modestly.
      1. That is to dress not sexually, or overly revealing our bodies.
    2. And then the 2nd word we get is that we should dress with “decency”
      1. That Greek word (that’s the original language Paul wrote in) means to dress with reverence for God.
    3. And then 3rdly, Paul says we should also dress with “propriety.”
      1. Which means to dress appropriately for the situation you are in.
  8. The Apostle Peter also gives very similar instructions in his first letter.
    1. I want us to go there now.
      1. 1 Peter 3:3-4
      2. Page 829
    2. So go ahead just a few pages in your Bible, and you’re going to see something quite similar.
      1. (1 Peter 3:3-4) – NIV
      2. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
  9. And as we keep digging into the word here, I want us to answer the question of how can I have a Balanced and Biblical view of Modesty?
    1. And I think passages (like the one we just read in 1st Peter) show us that Christianity redefines Beauty, and that’s our first point..
    2. How Can I Have a Balanced and Biblical View of Modesty?
    3. #1: Let the Bible redefine beauty for you
      1. Firstly, God is not against beauty
        1. You don’t need to go around looking completely disheveled.
        2. It’s not wrong to be fit (to get your body in shape)
          1. In fact, 1 Corinthians 6 says our bodies are temples of God, we should honor God with them.
        3. It’s not wrong to try and look beautiful or handsome, if you’re doing it in a respectful and modest way.
      2. But we need to ask ourselves, ultimately, “What kind of beauty should God’s people firstly seek?”
        1. And Peter tells us that what makes a person beautiful is not their body, or their clothing, but their inner self.
          1. Because real beauty isn’t ultimately defined through the externals
  10. But this is harder to live out than perhaps it has ever been before.
    1. If you lived on a farm in MN 100 years ago, you might not have even known more than 100 people.
      1. And often the people who saw you might have seen you covered in dirt from helping on the farm.
    2. But now with social media, you can present yourself to hundreds, if not thousands of people every day.
      1. And they don’t see you in real, everyday life, but we are encouraged instead to present an edited and filtered version of ourselves.
        1. And the pressure to present yourself as outwardly beautiful is exceedingly high…especially for girls and young women,
          1. There’s always another girl who seems prettier, or at least has used technology to adjust her looks
        2. And the feedback loop is brutal.
          1. You see someone post a picture of themselves, perhaps not wearing a lot, and everyone comments, “So pretty!” and pretty soon they have 300 hearts…
            1. …and your heart desires the same affirmation.
              1. And so you feel like you should do the same
        3. But that process cannot, and it will not, fill the hole in your heart.
          1. In part because true beauty is not found on the outside.
            1. The Bible defines it on the inside.
  11. #2: PUT OTHERS BEFORE YOURSELF
    1. Okay, let’s look at the next thing the Bible teaches about modesty
      1. How Can I Have a Balanced and Biblical View of Modesty?
      2. #1: Let the Bible redefine beauty for you
      3. #2: Put others before yourself
    2. Now, point #2 may be the hardest thing I have to say today because here is where I have to start pushing that pendulum back towards the balanced middle.
      1. Take a look at 1 Corinthians.
        1. 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 & 31-33
        2. Page 784
    3. Right now the prevailing thought is that Christians can dress however they want, and if it causes someone else to lust, that’s their problem”
      1. But look at what the Bible says about the attitude of “that’s their problem”
      2. Paul starts by quoting the Corinthians
        1. (1 Corinthians 10:23-24) - NIV
        2. 23 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. 24 No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.
          1. Jump down now to verse 31 of the same chapter
        3. (1 Corinthians 10:31-32a) – NIV
        4. 31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32 Do not cause anyone to stumble
      3. How Can I Have a Balanced and Biblical View of Modesty?
      4. #1: Let the Bible redefine beauty for you
      5. #2: Put others before yourself
    4. The attitude of a Christ-follower is to be one that puts the interests of the others above their own.
      1. Think of it this way:
        1. If you have a Christian friend who is a recovering alcoholic who comes over to visit you, and they are just 30 days sober.
          1. Would you, first thing, crack open an alcoholic beverage and start drinking one yourself…
            1. Would you think: “I can drink whatever I want, if they’re going to struggle with it, that’s between them and God”
              1. No, you’d want to be considerate in how you interact with them…especially if they’re an addict.
        2. Now, here is the unfortunate reality of our current day: Because of our technological age, we live in a culture of lust & porn addicts.
          1. And it’s not just men.
            1. It’s a fast-rising percentage of women too.
    5. And so if we’re going to have a Balanced and Biblical view of modesty, it has to be one where we push the pendulum back a little bit, and we do consider other people…
      1. …and we dress in such a way that it will not cause another to stumble.
        1. Now, what does that mean exactly for how we dress??
          1. The Bible doesn’t give us a dress code.
            1. And so most Christians just go with what’s average for their culture.
          2. The problem with that for America though is that we live in perhaps the most sexualized culture in modern history…
            1. …so us going with what’s average is like the ancient Vikings of Scandinavia going with what’s average for a level of violence.
              1. We can’t really trust our culture.
                1. We’ve got to think thoughtfully on Scripture Verses and these Biblical Principles were walking through today.
      2. Because the way the average American dresses today is challenging for so many
        1. I have had multiple people tell me, they can’t go on social media anymore because it’s so immodest that it’s a major struggle for me
        2. I heard one guy say last week, that he can’t go the gym anymore…that people are basically naked there.
          1. And again, it’s not just women!
            1. Lot of dudes…just jacked with huge muscles…not wearing anything.
    6. And remember the balance!
      1. And it’s not that the person struggling with lust doesn’t have to work on their issues.
        1. They do, and they should!
          1. (right) But to say, “That’s just on them…”
          2. (left) Or, “It’s just on you…in how you dress.”
            1. Neither of those perspectives are balanced or biblical takes on modesty.
          3. It’s on all of us, as we work together, to sacrifice and put others before ourselves.
            1. That’s a Biblical, Christian ethic.
  12. #3: THINK OF HOW YOU ARE REPRESENTING CHRIST
    1. And much of the teaching around this has to do with distraction.
      1. And that leads us to point #3
      2. How Can I Have a Balanced and Biblical View of Modesty?
      3. #1: Let the Bible redefine beauty for you
      4. #2: Put others before yourself
      5. #3: Think of how you are representing Christ
    2. As much as we would like to pretend it doesn’t, our outward appearance communicates what we value to a watching world.
      1. And when Christians are overly concerned with the wrong things, the world misunderstands what we’re about.
        1. If you look at our 1 Timothy passage again, you’ll notice that Paul isn’t just talking about being modest in not revealing a lot of your body, but he’s also talking about modesty from a financial perspective!
          1. In verse 9 he mentions the women wearing elaborate hairstyles, gold, pearls, and expensive clothes
            1. In the Roman culture of Paul’s day, wealthy would braid their hair high onto their heads, and often decorate it with jewels and gold, all to get attention.
              1. And Paul is saying, “When you do this, you’re attracting people, not to Christ, but to yourself.
          2. And similarly today, when Christians (both men & women) get overly concerned about showing everyone that they have the latest fashions, the most expensive shoes, designer jeans, and so on…
            1. …what ends up happening is the watching world notices THOSE things about us first & foremost.
              1. And Christ is missed!
          3. Even on Social Media…we can’t stop posting about our latest outfit, latest supplement, latest swimsuit, latest makeup routine, latest workout routine…
            1. I just want somebody to post about Jesus.
              1. That’s why Paul says, “Stop adorning yourself with all that, and adorn yourself with the deeds of Christ!”
          4. And so, we have to ask the question: Is what I’m wearing, is the picture I’m about to post of myself….
            1. …is that me trying to draw people to my wealth, to my status, to my body??
              1. Because if it is, it’s probably a distraction from my main mission, which is to draw people, not to myself, but to Christ.
    3. And I’m not saying this is easy.
      1. I’m not saying that to dress modestly is easy, or even trendy, or any of that.
        1. But following Christ isn’t always easy.
          1. And I think a lot parents struggle with what to say to their teenagers on this.
            1. Because honestly, Christian teenagers just want to fit in, and we want them to fit in, but as Christ followers we won’t always fit in with the culture.
        2. When I was in Mozambique a couple of years ago, the Christians there talked to us often about how rampant corruption was in their culture.
          1. So much so, that even at a job interview, you are expected to offer a bribe.
            1. It’s unethical. It’s not the way of Christ.
              1. Even though it’s what literally almost everyone does in their culture.
            2. But the Christians want to imitate Christ, not the culture, so they don’t offer bribes.
              1. And as a result, they don’t fit in.
                1. And truthfully, they suffer for it.
                  1. Many of them struggle to get jobs.
      2. Now in our American culture, our issue is not widespread corruption it’s that we live in a highly visual, highly sexualized culture.
        1. And like the Christians in Mozambique, we too as Christians are going to stand out for being different.
          1. And when we are faced with, “Should I fit in, or should I obey God, parents, we cannot teach our children to choose, “fit in”
            1. That is not an ethic (a mode of thinking) that will serve them well into young adulthood
          2. Instead, we must teach them these Biblical Truths, and ultimately where their real identity is.
  13. #4: LET YOUR IDENTITY IN CHRIST FREE YOU TO LIVE DIFFERENTLY
    1. And that’s our fourth, and very important, point
      1. How Can I Have a Balanced and Biblical View of Modesty?
      2. #1: Let the Bible redefine beauty for you
      3. #2: Put others before yourself
      4. #3: Think of how you are representing Christ
      5. #4: Let your identity in Christ free you to live differently
    2. Every one of us, male and female, has to ask the question of “Am I presenting myself in such a way that I’m trying to get attention from other people?”
      1. And it might not even be the way you dress.
        1. Some of you have excused yourself from this message, because well, you’re wearing the same clothes you did 15 years ago, and fashion is far from your thing.
          1. But we all try and present ourselves to the world.
            1. We want them to notice the house we bought, the promotion we got, the cars we drive.
              1. And the way we dress is just another variation of that same heart sickness.
                1. We want people to assign us worth because of what we’ve done, what we have, or how we look.
    3. This is what Paul was fighting against in 1 Timothy.
      1. The prevailing thought of Roman culture was that you are worth something if you can show it through your wealth, through your body, or by how you express yourself.
    4. And 2,000 years later, guess what, still the same problem!
      1. Too many of us are are trying to draw eyes to ourselves because we’re looking for validation through the external things of life.
        1. And that’s hard to admit.
    5. But when you can bravely admit, “yeah, that is partly where I’m finding my worth and meaning,” that frees you up to find a deeper identity.
      1. Because here is the beauty of being a Christian.
        1. If you are a believer in Christ, you are fully accepted in Him.
        2. You are fully loved in Him.
          1. And so you no longer need to clothe yourself in such a way to try and find attention, meaning, and worth from the looks of other people.
            1. You already have the love & acceptance of the One who created the Universe.
          2. You don’t need to seek out the fleeting and ever-changing approval of friends, social media, or the culture.
            1. His love for you never changes.
      2. Can you feel the freedom in that?
        1. And see, it’s when you find your identity in Christ’s love & acceptance, it frees you in such a way that you begin to lose the desire to have to dress in such a way, or get your body fit in such a way, that you’ve got to get the attention of others.
      3. And this is why a balanced and deeply Biblical view of modesty is really important!
        1. If we reduce modesty to just a set of rules, and inches, and enforcements, we’ll end up right back in legalism and shame.
          1. But listen, modesty is still a real thing. And it’s important to God
            1. But what empowers us to actually live it out, is not a set of rules, but an understanding that we are already fully loved and accepted in Christ.
        2. And that truth is so freeing!
          1. Because it’s an unshakeable truth! An unchangeable truth!
            1. Your beauty in Christ is a beauty that does not change with trends; and it does not fade with age.
              1. It’s just yours!
            2. The world is telling you that you’ve got to keep chasing after beauty and worth, but Jesus says, you already have it.
          2. Isn’t that freeing?
            1. And it is that freedom, not rules, that empowers us to live differently as Christians.
              1. Let me pray.

Copyright:

David Sorn

Renovation Church in Blaine, MN

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