The Importance of Identity

THE HISTORY OF IDENTITY (Gender & Sexuality Schedule) Good morning. My name is David Sorn, and I’m the Lead Pastor here at Renovation Church. We are in the middle of a very important series on what the Bibles teaches about Gender & Sexuality. We are in week 3, so today we’ll be looking into the topic of Identity. If you have practical questions for next week’s topic, I’d love for you to submit them through the connect tab of our app. Let me just define identity from the beginning here. Identity Who you think you are & where you find your worth And identity has always been a big thing in our human history, it’s just that HOW people have found their identity has really changed over time. Philosopher Philip Rieff describes “4 Eras of Identity” in the history of Western Culture. 4 Eras of Identity #1: Political Identity If you go back a couple thousand years to the Greco Roman period, to the days of Plato & Aristotle, many people found their identity by how they engaged in the public life of the city. What was their political role? How did they serve the community? They would say, “I am a senator, a Roman citizen…or even, I’m a slave.” Your sense of self was defined by your relationship to the state. Eventually, in the Middle Ages, the political identity gave way to a religious identity. 4 Eras of Identity #1: Political Identity #2: Religious Identity If you lived in Europe in 1000 AD, you likely would have determined your worth by how involved you were with attending mass, celebrating the Catholic feast days, and your engagement with church life. There was also a fairly strong minor identity of family trade too: You’d say: My family have been blacksmiths for 300 years, or millers, or cobblers, and that’s who we are and have always been. But eventually, due to technology, the industrial revolution, the rise of individualism, and more, a new identity emerged 4 Eras of Identity #1: Political Identity #2: Religious Identity #3: Economic Identity And in this era, people found their identity in what they, personally, could accomplish. Where their career went, how much money their family made, how big their house was. These were the days of when you met someone, you’d always first ask: What do you do for a living? Because that was your key identity…it’s who you were; it’s where you found your worth. And certainly there are pieces of this era still around. In history, eras don’t usually switch on a day, they slowly transition over time. But now, we are entering into a 4th era of Identity in the West. 4 Eras of Identity #1: Political Identity #2: Religious Identity #3: Economic Identity #4: Psychological Identity And in this era, we are no longer as concerned with finding our identity through having more success/power/or money than someone else… …but now we feel our identity (our concept for who we are & how we find worth) should be found within. The culture says: “If you’re going to discover who you are, you need to look to your feelings, thoughts, and desires… …because those are the things that come from your most authentic, and your most irreducible self And so therefore, those have to be the things that best define who you are (your identity) And thus, the reasoning goes: “If you don’t allow yourself to actually live out who you really are (work wise, lifestyle wise)… “If you don’t pursue what your heart truly desires (in relationships, in life), then, the culture says, it’s not actually possible for you to be happy… …because you would be going against your core, your identity, against who you are. FROM PSYCHOLOGICAL TO SEXUAL And within this new era of people defining their identity by how they feel, there is a strong movement to define your identity even more narrowly in terms of your sexual feelings & desires or even your gender identity. And we’re told this a crucial part of our happiness. Let me show you what I mean. If you’re like the average American, you probably watch a lot of TV or do a lot of streaming. Think about how almost every show now has a script where a character experiences same sex desires. And what is the script, actually? Think deeply. Let’s go underneath it. The script says that the character eventually decides that these feelings, these desires, are their authentic self, their identity; who they really are. And the plot then tells us that when that character is able to carry those desires out to fulfillment, that’s when they are truly the most happy because they can finally be TRUE to their deepest identity (their feelings). We’ve heard that story in a thousand different ways. Sometimes it’s about same sex attraction, or gender identity, but other times the script is about leaving your marriage to pursue someone else that you genuinely feel in love with. But the underlying moral is the same in every show. They’re saying: Your feelings ARE you. They are the CORE of who you are. And if you want to feel truly the most happy, you’ve got to be true to your desires...especially your romantic & sexual desires. The origins of this idea go back a little over 100 years to Sigmund Freud, who strongly felt that sexual feelings and sexual satisfaction were the key to happiness. In fact, Freud felt that humans should, and I quote, “make genital erotism the central point of their lives” And today, if someone came to the U.S. from Malaysia or Mozambique, or somewhere very different, it wouldn’t take long for them to deduce that our culture is actually built around this Freudian idea that sexual satisfaction is the central POINT of our lives. So much so that our inward (previously private) sexual desires have become public identities now. Our sexual desires are now flags to fly, bumper stickers to put on, checkboxes on job interviews, colors over our profile pictures. Our sex lives have become very public because sexual desires have become an identity. Even in the gender discussion, think about how it’s affected identity: In many colleges or corporate environments, people no longer introduce themselves by asking “What do you do?” but by asking “What are your pronouns?” Identity. And I wanted to take a week of this series to talk more deeply on WHY people think this way because I think it’s very important that you understand how someone who is different than you, thinks. So that you can have more respectful, more knowledgeable, and more effective conversations with people. And hopefully lead them to hope in Jesus. But it’s hard to do that if you don’t understand how they think. Because often I think Christians are baffled by what’s happening out there right now, and a lot of it is because they don’t understand just how important identity is to this issue. I see a lot of Christians getting very angry about how much of these topics are getting taught to children all over our country. And rightfully so, but you can’t create a winsome argument if you think the debate is only about what’s morally right or not. The reason why so many institutions across America are so focused on teaching children about gender & sexuality ….is not just because they personally feel it’s right…or important for children to recognize and respect all people’s diverse sexual preferences (sure that’s part of it). …But it’s also because they feel that a child or a student’s gender & sexual identity is not an issue of morality, but an issue of WHO THEY ARE… …and the sooner they can understand who they are, the more likely they are to find true happiness. THIS IS ABOUT IDENTITY…and increasingly about sexual identity. Or, let me give you another example of where we often miss the foundational concept of identity: When there is a lawsuit against a Christian baker or a Christian florist who won’t make a cake or arrange flowers for a gay wedding, I often hear Christians say: “I don’t get it, why can’t the gay couple just go down the road to another baker.” But remember, it’s about identity. See, for the two men in a relationship, they don’t see that baker as just refusing them service because of their moral choices… …they see the baker as objecting to their identity… …objecting to the absolute, irreducible core of who they are)… …objecting to their existence! I’m not saying that thinking is right, but I am saying that’s how they think, and we need to understand how people think. And this is also why you’re going to see a massive surge in people who are worried about what some have labeled “speech crime” over the next 5 to 10 years… And you’re going to see increasing punishments (at work, school, and beyond) for those who don’t completely endorse this sort of thinking. And it’s all happening because we’re in a new era of identity where our very self worth is tied to our own personal (often sexual) feelings. WHY YOUR IDENTITY CANNOT BE FOUND WITHIN And so, let’s figure out how to speak truth into this new cultural thinking. Because, this is how people think now. You can’t wind the clock and go back. And let’s not pretend like finding your identity in how much money you had was any better. So let’s talk about WHY you shouldn’t look for your identity within yourself. 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Look for Your Identity Within Yourself #1: Your feelings are always changing Your identity (the core of who you are) should never be based on something as fleeting as your feelings. I heard it explained this way once: For those of you older than 20, when you were 20, what did you think when you looked back at your feelings and thoughts you had at 15? You thought, “Man, I was dumb.” There’s a reason that we don’t let 15 year olds even get a tattoo. Because we know that what they DESIRE is going to massively…change. I can still vividly remember arguing why my parents one night when I was about 16, and them saying, “David, you just think you know everything don’t you?!” And me saying, “Well, I know better than you.” And that all feels very embarrassing now. And when you were 30, what did you think of yourself at 20? And we could keep going. This has been a key point of this series. Our feelings and desires constantly change, so they are actually the LEAST reliable marker of our identity 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Look for Your Identity Within Yourself #1: Your feelings are always changing #2: Your feelings are sinful and broken I kind of hope you think I’m starting to sound like a broken record on this one during this series because it’s quite intentional. I think a massive reason we are so confused about the topics of gender & sexuality is because Christians just don’t understand this very important Biblical doctrine. We can’t just look inside ourselves and find our identity, because what we’re looking at is broken…it’s distorted. Because of Adam & Eve’s sin, because of the fall, our desires are sinful. And so looking to find your identity by what you feel is like trying to get an accurate picture of yourself in a funhouse mirror. Everything you feel is warped by the fall, and your sinful nature. And so the truth about you, can’t be accurately seen there. I think if we stop and think critically about it for a bit, we can see that our feelings aren’t something we should build our identity on. There is a writer named AJ Jacobs who experiments with his life for journalism, and Jacobs once did an experiment where he spent a few weeks trying to be radically true to his feelings & desires…to verbalize them and act them out. And so he told an editor that he would like to sleep with her He informed a friend’s 5 year old daughter that the ladybug in her hands was in fact, not napping, but dead. Most days he didn’t feel like going to work, so he didn’t. And he learned the spiral of following his desires, because our desires, without God’s compass, and without God’s changing power, don’t lead us to a good place. And yet, every year that goes by, our culture is encouraging people more and more to fully live out their desires…because they say: “Your desire is who you are. To not live it out, is to not be authentic…it’s to suppress the very desires that will give you worth!” But I’m starting to wonder if we’re hitting a tipping point. I’m seeing more and more intellectuals starting to come to Christ because they’re seeing that this secular ideology (where we all live out our desires) leads to chaos, not beauty & freedom. 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Look for Your Identity Within Yourself #1: Your feelings are always changing #2: Your feelings are sinful and broken #3: Your feelings are influenced by your culture Everyone likes to think that their feelings are just a reflection of their true authentic self…their true identity within. But we don’t realize how much our culture influences our feelings in the first place. Especially when it comes to which feelings we call good and which ones we call bad. Let me explain with an example I once heard from Timothy Keller (who has influenced my thinking so much on this topic over the years) He says, “Imagine a northern European man in 800 AD. And this man has two dominant feelings in his life…that he treats very differently. Firstly, like many northern European men of that time: He loves to smash and kill people. And in his warrior culture, he will identify with that feeling. He’ll say, “That’s me! That’s who I am, and so I will express that! I’ll live that out! And secondly, the other feeling that he feels is a sexual attraction to men. But to that feeling, he’ll say, “That’s NOT me. I don’t what that is…(perhaps a temptation from outside me), but I will control and suppress that impulse. It’s not me!” Now, imagine a young man in urban America today. Let’s say he feels the exact same two inward impulses (to smash and kill…and same sex attraction) He’ll look at the aggression and say, “That’s not me. I’m not going to embrace those feelings & desires as ME. I don’t know where that comes from. I will seek help on suppressing them through therapy or maybe anger management.” But as for his desire of same sex attraction, he’ll say, “That’s me. That’s who I am; I’ve got to be true to that (otherwise I’d be living a lie) Do you see why you can’t say your feelings are the true you? And why they can’t be your identity? Some of the things we claim as core to who we are, would be the very things we would deny if we were born in a different place or time. And so if our feelings are always changing, if they’re warped to begin with, and if they’re heavily shaped by our culture…we can’t find our identity there. And so where should we find it? WHERE DOES THE BIBLE TELL US TO FIND OUR IDENTITY You have find it in something higher. Something unchangeable. You find it in Jesus Christ. But what does that mean? Let’s look at what the Bible says about you when you give your life to Christ (when you decide to believe in faith that He died on the cross for your sins). (2 Corinthians 5:16 17) – NIV 16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! You get a new identity in Him! He has changed you. And look what else He says about you. (1 Peter 2:9) – NIV 9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. This says that God chose you…and you are his special possession. We get more on this thought and identity in Ephesians (Ephesians 2:10) – NIV 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. This says that God purposefully made you (you’re His handiwork). He created you in a unique way to do unique things for His glory. This gives purpose to your identity. And you’re not just a servant, you’re in His family. (1 John 3:1a) – NIV See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! You are God’s child. And you are deeply loved by Him. The creator of the Universe came and rescued you on the cross, and has placed you in His family. That’s your identity. And Christian, these things are now the deepest and most important things about you. THE RICH GOODNESS OF GOSPEL IDENTITY And hear me finding your identity from above is infinitely better than finding your identity within. Let me show you what I mean on this chart. (Show chart #0) I want to compare the thinking of finding your identity within vs finding it above (from Christ) Our culture today tells you it’s good to find your identity in your feelings within because it says: (Show Chart #1) …“Your feelings are perfect just the way they are…you just be you...you’re feelings are right and true” And that kind of thinking feels appealing to us because then we don’t have to change anything. (Show Chart #2) The culture says: “No matter how you choose to live (even with regards to gender & sexuality), you can say, “I’m perfect just the way I am” That sounds really appealing. But it never works. Because it’s not reality. You can’t love everything about yourself. You just can’t. (this is where that old sinful nature comes in) You’re going to mess up. You’re going to say the wrong thing, hurt people’s feelings, and have the wrong desires. But what happens to so many people today, is that they are so committed to holding on to the lie that their desires and choices are perfect… …that they’re forced to have to constantly lie to themselves. And say that they’re right. And that everyone else is wrong, or hateful, or toxic for suggesting that “I should change.” And plenty of people who are finding their identity from their desires within, get emotionally stunted or stuck here. And they’re yelling at the world to leave them alone and let them be their authentic self. Yet, in the privacy of their own minds, they feel anxious or depressed that they can’t live up to even their own personal expectations. And the dissonance between that private battle and the public persona of “everything is fine” is weighty, and absolutely overwhelming for many. But this where the Bible is so beautiful and so liberating. Hear the truth and let the truth set you free: (Show Chart #3) Because it says that you’re not perfect…but God still loves you. So much so that He sent Jesus to die in your place for your imperfections, your sin. And that’s a much better truth than our culture’s because it matches what we know deep down to be true: We’re not perfect. But He still loves you. And He’s changing you as a New Creation (Show chart #4) God loves you the way you are, but He loves you too much to leave you that way…stuck in the trap of following the spiral of your own desires. And so, as a New Creation, God starts freeing you from those wrong desires, and giving you power over them! Do you see the liberating that is? How freeing that is? It makes me relax just saying it. But I think in many ways so many people have been drawn to these inward ideas of “I’m perfect the way I am” because it feels like a really easy way to get acceptance. Which (don’t miss this!!), when we’re talking about identity, ACCEPTANCE is what people are ultimately looking for. How do you find out who you are or find your worth? When you feel accepted! So we think, if we can just shortcut the process and just say… (Show Chart #5) I accept myself…on my terms. I love myself. Then we can feel good about our ourselves. It sounds really nice. But it doesn’t work Because ultimately, you cannot get love and acceptance through SELF recognition. People constantly say, “I don’t care what everyone else thinks…and yet in therapy, all people ever talk about is how they’re so offended by what everyone else thinks.” We can’t escape that we crave love and acceptance from other people. Let me show you what I mean: Okay, if someone comes out (as gay or trans) to their family, and let’s say, for whatever reason, that person gets rejected by their family. That individual doesn’t then just say, “Well, no big deal because I find acceptance in myself.” No, what do they do? They need to run to a new community, a new group of friends that will what? AFFIRM them. So, this is why “affirming” is such an important word in the LGBTQ+ movement. It isn’t ultimately enough for someone to just accept themselves in their new gender or sexuality. What they crave, or even demand (if you’re going to love them) is affirmation. Why? That’s because in order for us to feel good about our identity (to know who we are; to find our worth), our identity needs to be affirmed by people outside of ourselves! It’s how we’re made. And honestly, the greater the worth of that person affirming us, the more powerful that recognition is to our identity formation. For example, if you’re a basketball player, and your teammate tells you that “you’re pretty good”…you feel good about that. If you’re coach tells you that “you’re pretty good,” you feel great about that. If Lebron James tells you that “you’re pretty good,” you feel incredible. And this is where the Bible is so powerful, and again so liberating. Because it says that you don’t have to go around and make sure that everybody affirms your identity. Because remember, “The greater worth of the person validating us, the more powerful that recognition is to our identify.” And the Bible says that the greatest of all, The Creator of All says: “You are His. You are Saved. He’s preparing a place for you in eternity. You are Accepted.” Do you see how much stronger that identity from above is compared to a shaky identity from within? And it gives you what you crave, affirmation from outside yourself. (Show Chart #6) You’re accepted into God’s family! And this affirmation is not only from someone of great worth, it’s secure. Because the problem with seeking acceptance and affirmation of your identity from other people is: A) It’s really hard to get affirmation from everyone, so you’re constantly trying to make everybody bend to your reality. B) It’s incredibly unstable. Someone may accept you the one day, but then cast you aside the next. Many of you have experienced this very thing in life. And then what happens to your identity when they cast you aside? It’s crushed! Because your identity was linked to that job, of that marriage, or that friendship group. And now it’s gone! But God’s Word says that when the Creator accepts you into His family, even if you wander, even if you stray, even if you really mess up, you’re still in His family He will never leave you nor forsake you. And so you can have peace, not anxiety, because your identity in the King… is rock solid…it can’t change. And so hear me: Your identity is not found in who you are, but WHOSE you are. What makes you special is not your feelings, or your sexual desires. It’s not what you’ve accomplished. Identity isn’t meant to be discovered, or achieved, it’s meant to be received. The Bible says this: (John 1:12) – NIV Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God And what a gift! Let me pray. CLOSE OF SERVICE Offer Gospel / follow up team.